I'm not sorry
by LucyLu71958
Summary: School life, so alternate universe sort of. Edward is willing to change for things to stop, but he does not like the change. Will he change it? Suck at summaries, please just read.


**So um... Hi guys. I feel so guilty I haven't updated any of my stories like I promised. Its just school has been...stressful...to say the least and we have a huge exam coming up soon. I swear right after exams end I'll crack down on writing again. For now, the few people who read my stories (and follow them) will get this. It is something I thought of so...enjoy.**

Edward had never felt so much like an outcast. Where should he stand in the hallway so that the bullies would not reach him? Where could he go to be accepted? What did he ever do? The thoughts raced around his mind everyday. In lunch the people at his table loathed him because he was different. Because he was gay maybe, because he was weird, because he was himself. No one liked him. He decided to take a chance.

So he changed. He cut his hair short and acted like anyone else. He became a normal person in the eyes of his school. The bullies left him alone. His lunch table ignored him. No one liked him, even though they stopped talking to him. He still didn't change back to who he was. He made a bad friend, Greed, Greed pissed everyone off. Greed was friends with the people at his table. Greed was supposed to be popular. Edward never cursed, but being around Greed made that change. He did not like this, but it was better than it used to be.

Edward wanted to be himself again. Why did he act like he liked these people that used to treat him like rotting trash? Why did he feel like he could scream? Why does he not change something? Oh right, change. He did that once and look where it got him. People did not hate him so much now, but he still was not himself. Himself, he scolded, was a nobody. Himself meant going back to always being bullied. To being hated. Why change? Things right now are as good as they will ever be.

One day Edward wanted change. So he decided, why not just a little? So he changed. He fought with Greed. It ended up with Edward apologizing to Greed. They were back to being 'friends'. He decided that would not change anything. Greed always hung out with him in school when he did not have another one of his friends in a class. Then he would ditch Edward after school. Edward did not like this, but he was glad to at least have a friend in school.

So now life was going on. Edward excelled at science. He especially loved alchemy. He wanted to do that for a living. Greed and his other 'friends' did not support him with it. They did not listen when he talked to them about alchemy, but when they talked about the latest fight that happened they expected him to devote his entire being to them. Why did they do this? But again Edward told himself that this was better than what it used to be.

Edward had his first peer pressure after school. Greed and his friends wanted to smoke weed in the park. 'What fools' Edward thought. He made an excuse up and walked home alone. Who even does that? Edward said something online he should not have. He said something that Greed's dirty mind had taught him. He got into trouble the next day. Usually he was the victim in the principal's office. Not the person who was in trouble. It frightened him. What would happen if he got taken away from his mother and Alphonse? The principal threatened to call the cops. The principal said what he said people in his grade should not know. 'I would not either, if it was not for Greed. So now he is in trouble for the first time. He did not like this. Sure his teachers did not particularly like him, most pegged him as the trouble maker just for who he hung out with and what he looked like, but he never got into trouble like this.

So Edward blamed Greed. He could not help but blame himself much more. He was the one who said it, not Greed. They stayed friends. The people at his table hated him secretly, he knew it. Especially because two people, Envy and Lust, had left because of those things he said online. They still talked to him because Greed was there too. He hated this lie he was living. How far will this go?

Edward thought about possibilities at night before going to bed. He thought of saying something he knew would cause them to all go away. He just did not know what he would have to say for this to happen. He wanted a change so much. He needed one to happen. He wished for a change, prayed in a god he did not believe in, for a change. For something to go right. For a miracle. But most people know, you can dream all you want, nothing will come of it but happy delusions.

When Edward once again got in trouble because of Greed he re-evaluated what he was doing the past few years of his life. For two years he has been hanging out with Greed much more, even when he has known him for at least six years. He never talked about his favorite things anymore. his innocence was non-existent. People liked him, sure, but it was not _him_ they truly liked.

He put his feelings into his alchemy. He became better at it. He went online and talked to Greed a lot. He felt bad about being on the computer all the time, another thing Greed got him into. It was pointless. He started to secretly hate Greed. Sometimes he wished Winry, his old friend that had moved before him and Greed became friends, would come back. She had moved far away and had not called in a year. He wished she would give him her number more often. He knew if she were here this would not have happened.

Edward had had enough. This would not go on anymore. The story of how the abused stuck with the abuser would not happen in his life anymore. He stopped wishing. He started working. He started to fight Greed more often. He became more detached from the screwed up table he sat at. He took action. Greed finally asked the question online, the coward, or more like demanded if he wanted to be friends. It was a choice Edward had, and he knew there would be no turning back when he answered. It was a choice of either no more arguing or no more being friends. He knew what he wanted. He answered with confidence that was unshakable.

No more living a lie.

Now they say no matter what people go back to what they had and say I want it back. That little stage of denial they go through. He apologized to a friend of Greed hoping they would pass it along. It got him made fun of briefly. He realized that he would never go back. He did not want to. So then it was time to do something about the table he sat at. He sat at the opposite end of where the other people sat. Greed and Gluttony had left. Now it was only Sloth, Wrath, and Pride. They were having fun one day. That was the day Edward decided he would get his revenge. They took away his innocent thoughts day by day with what they said. Now it was time he ruined a lunch or two for them. He slowly crept over to their side. He said one of the facts he knew they would hate.

They freaked out on him. They could say all they wanted but _that_ disgusted them. 'Go figure' Ed thought. They wanted to leave, they wanted him to leave. They screamed and cursed and told on him like wimps. They moved to the other side of the table when he refused to budge. He did not care. Soon they would hopefully move. Soon he would be the only one left and he would be able to move with another table if he wanted to. He was happy that day, and the Monday after when he had to sit alone. He laughed like it was hysterical, and it was.

He could not wait until the end of the year. It was March by then, and school let out for the year at the end of May. He had started to clean up his act. He found new friends finally who liked him for who he was. They fought now and then but it was never serious. He got more involved with alchemy. He became happy, all because he acted. He took action. His brother became more of a concern in his life. He tried to get back in touch with Winry. He was taking control of his life and was loving it. He thought about good moments with his old life, with Greed. He smiled and thought 'never again'.

**So I hope you liked the story. It was supposed to have a theme. Theme means a deeper meaning in case you don't know. The theme was that you should try to take action, because you have more control over your life than you think. Don't take my word for it. I hope you enjoyed my pretty non-climatic story. Have a good day/night/morning! **


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